Wilma Jones - Living Happier

Your Mindlessness Just Creates a Mess

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Mindless IMG_0378Your Mindlessness Just Creates a Mess

Mindfulness is becoming more mainstream everyday. I think that is a really good thing. There are an abundance of studies that prove the benefits of practicing mindfulness, ranging from its ability to lower stress to the positive changes it makes in our brains.

For me personally, I was one of those people who overthought everything. I was often worried about whether I had said or done the wrong thing. You might say I was consumed by past actions. That is the essence of being mindless. Always thinking about the past and basing my future actions on what I did or didn’t do in the past.

The biggest personal benefit I received from learning to be more mindful was to eliminate that type of thinking from my life. I now actively think through challenges based on current options, not choices from my past. I am able to stop the thoughts because I have a more objective view about my life and my abilities.

I know that just because something didn’t work in the past, that is not a reason I can’t accomplish what I want in the future. Mindfulness has given me a great tool for looking outside myself and the little box my thoughts had created for me.

We all have that little box that we’ve put ourselves in. We think we’re too old, too broke, too fearful or too…whatever. That little box is just allowing a mess to have a place in our mind. All those thoughts are under our control and all it takes to start breaking free is to learn to be more mindful about ourselves.

That is why be more mindful at work can take your productivity and creativity to a new level. It allows you to stop looking at issues the same way you always have in the past. Even if other staff members remain in their respective boxes and old patterns of thought, you don’t have to stay there with them.

Interested in giving it a try? Start with this easy, 3 minute mindful morning meditation today!

What Does Happiness Have to Do with Control?

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Happiness and Control IMG_1136

The 2016 World Happiness Report was released last month. This report is the result of surveys that rate the level of happiness of respondents in over 150 countries worldwide. The report attempts to measure “subjective well being,” among a country’s inhabitants. The survey began in 2012 and has been repeated about every 18 months, the 2016 update is the fourth edition.

According to the report, the happiest country in the world is Denmark. For anyone who follows this blog, that is not a surprise. Denmark’s government places a high priority on the health and well being of its citizens and that focus pays huge dividends. Long life expectancies, happiness at the job and support of families are important and the society invests in things that support these goals.

The US did move up the leader board this year, from the 15th to 13th place on the ratings, but we’ve yet to crack the top 10 happiest countries. You would think that the success and prosperity in our country would lead to more happy people, but somehow that is just not true. A new book by a University of Texas researcher Raj Raghunathan, asks the question, “If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?” The author poses that a lot of our unhappiness has to do with our need for control.

One of the benefits of implementing Positive Psychology principles into my life has been the shift in my perspective on control. People who live positively have learned to give up the idea of controlling others and we look internally to develop better control of our own thoughts, words and behavior.

In other words, happiness doesn’t result from controlling others or situations but by controlling how you react to things that happen. This all begins in your mind. People who think that people can make you mad, or that look at negative things that occur as personal attacks are not happy people.

Folks who approach life with a sense of gratitude are the happiest because they don’t take the things that happen to them as personally. They frame these things by looking at them from a thankful perspective. No matter what happens to you, there is always a way to be thankful.

In framing this around our jobs and livelihoods, all we have to do understand that not everything that initially appears bad turns out to be all bad. My son went to visit his girlfriend a few months ago. They had a great weekend but that Monday at her job she was laid off. He contacted me for some advice, asking how he could help her feel better.

I explained that her outlook was the most important thing right now, and the only thing she could control. I encouraged her to have a positive attitude and think thoughts and use words that validated her worth. I encouraged her to really believe that the Universe has so much more in store for her. I emphasized that whatever energy she sent out to the world was what she would receive in return. Less than one month later she had secured a better job, with a healthier work environment and more money!

There is a way to make our country a happier place and it starts with each of us as individuals. If we learn to control ourselves, starting with our thoughts and behavior our country can become a happier place, both individually and collectively by controlling ourselves rather than trying to control everyone else.

Do you think our perspective on control impacts our happiness?

Mindfulness in the Midst of Sadness

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image imageimageMindfulness in the Midst of Sadness

Yesterday a music icon died. In case you’ve been under a rock or in a SCIF all day, Prince Rogers Nelson passed away. As a result, I was not a very good employee. As a matter of fact, one of my Facebook friends posted this status, which pretty much summed up a lot of people’s productivity for the day:

“There isn’t a single person between 40 and 60 getting an ounce of work done. We all need to meet somewhere, drink, sing his songs and cry. It’s like we’ve lost a family member.”

I was sad when Michael Jackson died. But it didn’t impact my work productivity. My heart ached when Whitney Houston died. But I didn’t have a problem getting my work done. But today. Today, Prince’s sudden death roiled me. It made me so unhappy. I did what had to be done at the job, but it was tough.

I know everyone has those people whom we’ve never met who have made a big impact on our lives. Prince was that one for me.

I am thankful I was on business travel and my meetings had ended by the time I received the news. I was able to manage the remaining conference calls and emails. I got the job done. But the ache in my heart remains.

Using mindfulness to remain in the moment and know that I should be happy for the many concert experiences and memories helped a lot. Sharing the pain with friends and people I never met via social media helped, too. Knowing we are not alone in the moment made a huge difference.

Rest in power, Prince. Your music made so many lives better. Mine included.

Did hearing this news affect your day, too?

Mindfulness at Work – Is It a Legal Risk?

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Mindfulness at Work – Is It a Legal Risk?

A lawyer in the UK cautions employers about offering mindfulness training to their staff as it could create a legal risk for the company. This is an interesting perspective built on the presumption that mindfulness training is seen as a form of “therapy.”

Helping people to understand how to ‘live in the moment without judgement,’ is the main principle of mindfulness. I am not sure that all mindfulness training can be considered therapy, but I understand that people like to sue for anything these days. Because of the litigious nature of society, I agree that employers and their management teams should present mindfulness training [italicize] in the appropriate framework.

I believe mindfulness training, is just that- training. Just like other types of skills and behaviors companies expose their staff to, mindfulness is just another tool for employees to have in their toolkit. Employees who are able to add the practice of mindfulness to their workday are less stressed and more productive. They feel better about their jobs and themselves.

I have found mindfulness helps me to deal with those unexpected irritants that can move you off your game at the job. Whether it be people, policies or the dreaded processes, I can use mindfulness to remember that ‘this too shall pass.’ Learning to breathe and stop letting outside influences roil my day has been invaluable.

The article encourages employers to ensure the training is not offered to just one group. It should also be presented at a time and in a manner that doesn’t encumber the staff by making their jobs more difficult. I think that information is applicable for lots of training options, not just mindfulness.

I hope this lawyer’s viewpoint of doesn’t derail the increasing use of mindfulness training as a option for employees. As with any other new skills being taught to staff, you must present it in the correct fashion. Take the focus off mindfulness as therapy as a first step. Mindfulness has been proven as a valuable skill for workers, especially office workers.

That is why the Living Happier @ Work programs introduce practical applications of mindfulness (along with the other 3 practices of gratitude, kindness and exercise) for workers to see how to use the skills in their everyday work activity. Applying the learned skills to how they approach meetings, addressing workplace conflict and even their emails take the training from a therapeutic offering to real workplace skill.

It’s part of a bosses job to help make their teams increase productivity. It’s a bonus if the training you offer helps the staff become less stressed. Mindfulness training can do both. Present the tool as a skill to be mastered, not a therapy and you can reduce concerns about litigation.

 

Want to Be More Mindful? Start Here.

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Want to Be More Mindful? Start Here.

In an article about an elementary school that practices mindfulness, the principal talked about how the practice changes a person’s heart. I loved that comment because it is so accurate. Research proves the changes that happen to you physiologically are primarily in the brain. What the principal comments take into consideration is that eventually, after the mindfulness shift becomes habit, it does change your heart.

I understand that being mindful is hard if you’ve never tried it and you’re on the outside looking in. I know because when it was introduced to me, I thought it was a bunch of hooey. I can only encourage you to try to implement a few concepts on your own. If you are courageous enough to stick with it for a few months, it really will change your life. Small steps can create a big difference.

With the advent of the Internet, you can find directions on how to do anything. So if you want to get a start right in the privacy of your own home, cubicle, car or office, here are 5 suggestions.

Mindfulness Concept: Being in the Present Moment

Mindfulness Concept: Being Conscious of Your Breathing

Mindfulness Concept: Accepting What Is

Mindfulness Concept: Having Compassion for Self and Others

Mindfulness Concept: Feeling the Connection to All Living Things

 

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way;
On purpose,
 in the present moment, and
 non-judgmentally.”

– Jon Kabat-Zinn
Prominent teacher of mindfulness meditation and founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center.

Contact

Wilma Jones
Wilma J, LLC
[email protected]

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