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1 Way for Your Boss to Stress the Dignity of Your Work

October 4, 2016 by Wilma Jones

boss value dignity of your work

This weekend I purchased a fashion magazine. I am not a big fashionista, so this purchase was a bit unusual for me. I bought it because I know I need to go shopping before this fall season hits for real.  My wardrobe could definitely use some up-leveling. I know the mag will help me determine the key pieces to I can add to what I’ve already got, to give a touch of trendy to my look as I do business in this final quarter of 2016.

After looking over the limited selections for fashion mags appropriate for someone without a 2 as the first digit of their age, I decided to pick Harper’s Bazaar. It’s funny, because as I sat down on my front porch and started to flip the pages I realized what joy I could find in this little activity. The task of planning to do the task of upgrading my fall wardrobe was enjoyable in itself. And I hadn’t even hit the stores yet!

As I got into it a little more I turned to an interview with Bruno Cucinelli in a monthly column called, “My List.” It’s basically a day in the person’s life listed, “by the numbers.” It’s a really short little feature, but I found a nice chunk of wisdom in his words.

Mr. Cucinelli is a designer, and I guess if I read Harper’s Bazaar more often, I might know more about who he is. Whatever. As I read the article and began to flow through his day, I learned he’s also a entrepreneur. And it appears he’s also a pretty good boss. I say that because he speaks about the process of going to his employees when he had a question or needs to speak with them about something on a project. Yes, he goes to them!

In most companies very often the organization chart hierarchy prevails. It determines who travels to whose office when there is a need for a discussion. I very clearly remember the execs in my division at MCI back in the mid-90’s who made it a point to travel to their team member’s offices rather than have their admins summon us to their office. Now of course, we could go to speak with them if we had a need. But the fact that my VP had no problem traveling a couple of flights down on the elevator to speak with me said volumes about respect.

It seems Mr. Cucinelli feels the same way. He states, “If I need someone, I tend to go to them…It is somehow a way to reward the work of my employees. The fact that I go to them myself is a way of stressing the dignity of their work.” I have to imagine he’s a pretty cool guy to work for because he doesn’t seem overly impressed with himself. 

Creating an environment of respect both up and down the org chart is important to a happy workplace. When employees feel respected and their work is valued, that’s a key indicator that they will work hard and stay with the company longer.

 I would have to say that’s the exception and not the rule at most companies based on the over 50 percent of workers who say they are unhappy at the job. Do you agree that staff feeling respected by the company leadership is important to work happiness?

Filed Under: Kindness Tagged With: Appreciation, boss, Bruno Cucinelli, dignity at work, Happiness at Work, harpers bazaar

4 Creative Ways to Improve Your Kindness On The Job

September 20, 2016 by Wilma Jones

Kindness on the job

I met a woman last week at a conference who told me she loved what she did everyday but hated her job because her boss was mean. She hopes he finds a new job soon because she doesn’t want to leave because once you remove him from the equation she said, “everything balances out.” Research proves the most important relationship, or “social connection,” we have on the job is with our immediate supervisor. And no one wants to report to a jerk. At least no one I know.

A lot of managers think they have to be tough with their teams to show they are real leaders. That’s such a bunch of BS and more importantly, it is not as effective as being a kind leader. Being a compassionate and empathetic boss helps with employee retention and productivity and the statistics prove it.

In fact senior level managers who are mean to the middle managers reporting to them can cause the front line employees to leave the company, even if they have no contact with the senior managers! This data comes from the team at Vanderbilt Owen Graduate School of Management, the School of Labor and Employment Relations at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and Cornell University School of Hotel Administration who did a study that was published in 2015.

Management who lead their teams with kindness gain significant advantages according to the American Management Association who found that 84 percent of people who said they work for a kind boss planned to stay at the company “for a long time.” Among those who declared their bosses to be not so kind, only 47 percent planned to stay for an extended period.

Kindness is not that hard and it helps to create a work environment that people won’t dread come Monday morning. Here are 3 easy ways to incorporate a little more kindness into your workday:

1. Greet people daily and use their name

Acknowledge your colleagues daily by greeting them and using their name. Having a personal interaction makes people feel seen and heard.

2. Be an encourager

Stating a positive attribute or accomplishment about a coworker to them or encouraging them in front of their manager or company leadership is a great way to be kind at work. Remember it has to be real and genuine, not sucking up or throwing backhand shade.

3. Don’t be the office critic

Focus on people’s strengths, not their weaknesses.

4. Offer to assist

This might take some of your time and effort, but it’s a great way to establish rapport with a colleague and to show you care about the team. I suggest being specific about what you’re willing to do. You don’t want to get stuck doing someone else’s project.

In my experience kindness at work really pays off. Have you found kindness to be a wise business strategy for building teams at work?

 

Filed Under: Kindness Tagged With: Appreciation, Happiness at Work, happy employees, Kindness, Wilma jones

I Can’t Stand My Boss!

July 13, 2016 by Wilma Jones

I can 'the stand my bossI Can’t Stand My Boss!

I was at a women’s event this weekend chatting it up with a few ladies I had just met. The event host happened to mention I was an author and of course, we started talking about positivity.

I told them the name of the new book, Is It Monday Already?! and folks started volunteering the reasons they dread Mondays. Then one woman broke it down. She told me she didn’t look forward to Mondays because she didn’t like her boss. In believe her exact words were, “I can’t stand my boss!”

Social connections are the number 1 indicator of a person’s happiness on the job. Social connections are your relationships with your coworkers. The most important colleague is your boss. If you don’t have a good relationship with the person you directly report to, more than likely, you don’t like your job.

Workplace research has proven that social connections boost worker productivity and make them more engaged in the job. In addition, there is less job turnover. Having a social connection doesn’t mean you have to be friends. Although that certainly is the case for some people, it can also backfire if something personal begins to impact the job relationship.

Developing social connections with others means being courteous and friendly. It means watching the little micro-aggressions we commit that sometimes we don’t even realize. Small things like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ on a consistent basis is a good way to start. Being kind and mindful of others is a great way to continue. Because we know those small things make a difference in the work environment.

I asked my new acquaintance, (because you know we started establishing a social connection as she shared her story) why she felt like she did about her boss. She replied, “Because he doesn’t care about me…So I don’t care about him either.” She’s been on the job for less than a year and I doubt if she will be there for more than another year. As soon as it’s acceptable on her resume to transition, she’ll be at a company where her boss respects and values her.

Filed Under: Kindness, Uncategorized Tagged With: happiness on the job, hate my boss, is it monday already, Kindness, social connections

Coworker Confrontation: 5 Tips to Approach It with Kindness

June 6, 2016 by Wilma Jones

confrontation with kindness

Coworker Confrontation: 5 Tips to Approach It with Kindness

This weekend I reconnected with a friend and former coworker. During dinner, the conversation naturally veered into happenings back at the office. We both found out we’d been burned by the same colleague.

In my friend’s case, the person had an issue with something she said at a meeting. We all know this is not an unusual issue. It’s just a normal occurrence in an office and most people know how to address it and get on with the job. Not in this case.

This person decided to call my friend’s boss and complain about the perceived problem rather than say something directly to her.

I commiserated with my girl because I know it’s tough working with people who would rather call your manager than deal directly with you. When someone gets a higher level of management involved with a situation, it’s called “escalating.” There is definitely a need for an escalation path in organizations. The problem occurs when people engage management prior to trying to work things out directly with their coworkers.

This is the type of action that can create problems between coworkers. It erodes trust and sometimes the professional relationship can never be repaired. It’s one of those micro-aggressions that people commit in offices every day. They may claim they meant no harm, but it damages work relationships. No one wants to be blindsided by a complaint about their work performance without even having an opportunity to explain themselves.

The escalation often creates a defensive mode in the person whose management was engaged. In my friend’s case it certainly did. It turned out the misunderstanding stemmed from two team members who didn’t read updated information emailed to them weeks prior to the customer meeting. My friend’s actions were proved correct and the deal moved forward.

An unintended outcome is that the professional relationship between these two super-smart and valuable employees is forever damaged. There is no more trust and no goodwill between them. A definite loss of productivity for the office because they don’t really want to work together anymore.

A better strategy for management would have been to encourage the complaining employee to speak directly to her colleague before the person’s manager got involved. Coaching them to address the issue with kindness and respect could have salvaged a good work relationship. Some suggestions they could have made include:

  1. Speak in real time

This is not a discussion for email, text or instant message. A face-to-face conversation is best, but if that can’t be arranged a video or telephone call is the next best option.

       2. Begin the conversation with something positive

Find something positive to start the conversation. State what you do agree on. At a minimum thank the person for agreeing to discuss and try to successfully resolve the issue at your respective levels.

       3. Watch your voice

It’s not just the words you say. It’s also the way you say them. People interpret the timing and pace of how you speak and your volume, tone and inflection. Your tone alone can change the meaning of how a person receives your words, conveying sarcasm or anger even if the words themselves are conciliatory.

      4. Be direct and concise

Just say what the issue is and don’t beat around the bush.

      5. Be quiet and listen

Let the person respond. Don’t go on and on about the problem without giving them an opportunity to respond.

As you speak try to find common ground. If that’s not possible try to ‘agree to disagree’ and figure out how to avoid the situation in the future. Mature, professional and responsible employees usually don’t need to call in the boss to resolve a difference of opinion. But if so, escalate after you try to make things better directly. If you address confrontation from a kind perspective there is often a positive outcome.

When you are upset with a coworker who escalated to your manager prior to speaking with you about the perceived infraction, how do you handle it?

Filed Under: Kindness Tagged With: confrontation, coworker escalation, Kindness, living happier at work

Managers: Mean People Impact the Bottom Line

June 2, 2016 by Wilma Jones

mean people impact the bottom line

Managers: Mean People Impact the Bottom Line

There are some mean people in the work world. Now I’m not talking North Korea dictator, Kim Jong-Un, kind of mean. You know they guy who had his uncle executed. It’s not that bad, but it is bad.

Mean people make your business suffer. I don’t care whether it’s a corporation, government agency, non-profit or association if you have mean employees they are hurting your company’s bottom line. There are articles about how to avoid the biggest offenders. And blog posts about what to do when people don’t like you on the job. But most important is the fact that it’s management’s job to foster a good work environment for all employees. It’s also their job to make the company money.

In some cases, management isn’t aware of the mean person or they think the person is doing a good job. They feel as long as things are going well, they don’t need to make changes. What the leadership doesn’t understand is although the group may be achieving their metrics, things could be so much better.

Mean people aren’t usually mean all the time. It only comes out when they need things to be to their advantage. They display their mean qualities very carefully, like a chef with a sharp knife filleting a fish. They say unkind things to their coworkers. They make sure to spread not so nice stories about others, whether true or false. Whatever happens, their response is almost always negative.

Remember the culture and mood of your company workplace is made up of everyone who works there. Researchers have proven that emotions are contagious among people who spend a lot of time around one another. Spending time around people like that changes other people’s outlook. Good workers start disengaging. Gallup estimates that disengaged employees cost the U.S. at least $450 billion annually in lost productivity.

To counteract the influence of a negative coworker the best option is to fight meanness with kindness. Don’t get sucked into their mean perspective. This will take courage, especially if you’ve been going with that negative flow with them for a while. But trust that it only takes one person to begin the shift to a more kind and empathetic workplace environment.

If kindness doesn’t work the next best option is to associate with them only when required. Excuse yourself from the drama. Stay focused on what you need to do and use mindfulness – a quick breathing exercise maybe? This can help you overcome the negative influence and start living happier at work despite the presence of a meanie at the job.

What are your suggestions for overcoming the influence of mean people at the job?

Filed Under: Kindness Tagged With: bottom line, costs money, Kindness, mean people

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Wilma Jones
Wilma J, LLC
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