Wilma Jones - Living Happier

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Thoughts on Mindful Commuting in the 21st Century

April 13, 2017 by Wilma Jones

commuting in the 21st century

Whether you’re a business owner or an employee a few things about working life are pretty consistent. Unless you’re one of the small percentage of  soloprenuers who work from home with no human interaction. For the remainder of us we all have to deal with coworkers. But first we have to manage our commute. In many areas of the country the getting to work isn’t a big deal. However, if you happen to live in a major US city, it can simply suck sometime.

In 2016 there were still over 75 percent of Americans who drove to work solo every day. I say interestingly because I truly thought the number had decreased some in the 21st century. The length of the commute to work has gotten 20 percent longer over the past 20 years with the average worker taking 26 minutes to get to work. But for many people in big cities with the worst traffic, like Washington, DC, New York or LA, a 26 minute commute would be sweet.

I have a dynamic job, so I may be in the office one day, working at a partner company site on a deal or presenting at a customer meeting in here in DC or anywhere in the 48 contiguous states.  I travel on local buses, subway and in my car. I’m on a plane (preferably Southwest!) and then an Uber, Lyft or a taxi. In every mode of travel, I’ve seen my share of micro aggression, rudeness and clueless behavior.

This past Monday I was thinking about the fact that it seems to be happening more and more. In ways big and small. Aggressive driving ending in physical altercations. Or people getting assaulted on the subway or bus. All this came to mind because I was on the Metro in DC  Monday morning on a crowded train that was SRO near a guy seated next to his backpack on the adjoining seat so no one could sit there. Whoever wanted the seat would have to ask him to move it. I knew I’d blog about it, so I took a pic.

metro pic

You can see the lady in the white pants standing near me. She and I had a non-verbal black woman conversation for a minute or two. She looked at the backpack and then looked at me. Yup, she did it a couple of times to see if I was willing to say anything. I was riding 3 stops and figured I didn’t want to deal with any negative energy if I didn’t have to on a Monday morning. Sometimes you mess with people and crazy comes out. I wasn’t in the mood for that possibility. In my effort to be more mindful about how I approach every interaction of my day, I decided to let it pass.

And then later in the day I heard about the latest viral video. By now, I’m I sure you’ve seen the video of the Asian doctor trying to get back home on a United airlines flight who was dragged off the plane. This is your worst nightmare. Paid for your seat. Minding your business. Trying to get back home to go to work tomorrow. Instead you’re singled out and dragged off the plane because you were randomly picked in an overbooking situation gone that was straight crazy.

I’ve been involuntary bumped before when traveling and I know it’s a really irritating experience. You feel angry and helpless because you have no control. But I would have never thought an airline would call the cops on you because you didn’t want to take a bump. He was assaulted and ended up in the hospital. Then he’s unfairly ripped in the media about his past, as they do for all people of color who happen by no fault of their own to get into the headlines. He’s got a lawyer. I hope he sues and gets paid bigly.

It just reinforced the fact that commuting today can be hazardous to your health. Be mindful as you head to work today. Sometimes even if you’re right, it’s just not worth it.

Filed Under: Mindfulness Tagged With: Asian doctor assaulted on United, commuting, Mindfulness, Wilma jones

Wanna Be Happy? Your Brain Wins Over Your Body. Except for Sex.

March 7, 2017 by Wilma Jones

wanna be happy? Your brain wins.

While reading some info on a science website I ran across a study that confirms the importance of being mindful. You know about mindfulness, right? Thinking about what you’re doing in the present moment while you’re in that moment. Two Harvard researchers, Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert used an iPhone app to study people’s happiness based on what they were doing and what they were thinking at that particular time. The study results confirm that being mindless and thinking about something other than what you’re doing makes you unhappy.

The three take-aways from the study for me are that your mind drifts away from focusing on what you’re doing over 46 percent of the time. The second finding is that when your mind wanders it can cause you to be unhappy. The most important study result to me is the final one. What you think is a better predictor of your happiness than what you do.

Simple. I think it proves that your brain rules over your body. The study found this is true for all of the things we do except one. Sex. When you’re having sex you’re pretty much thinking about sex. But for everything else we do, we’re often thinking about something else when we’re doing it. And when you’re doing that, you’re being mindless, not mindful. And it’s affecting your happiness.

I know mindfulness works. I used to be one of those people who was always thinking about what other people thought about something I said or did. Literally it would affect my sleep that night. Or it made me distracted as I went through my day. Constantly going back to revisit the moment again and again. It’s one of the many variations of being mindless.

After starting a yoga practice I realized how much better I felt when I focused for an hour on my intention and my breathing. To me yoga has three parts. First are the movements. Next is breathing. (I am still perfecting this one.) The final one is mindfulness. You set an intention for your hour of practice and work to focus on that intention during the class.

The mindfulness part was hard for me at first. Thoughts of what happened earlier that day or what I had to do after class used to fill my head. Then I attended a class where the instructor’s advice was a perfect analogy for me. She told us that when a thought comes into our mind, “swoosh” it away as easily as it entered. Just acknowledge it and send it on it’s way. Then return to the present moment.

Eventually I got the hang of keeping my thoughts in the moment for most of the hour. And it felt good. No worries, for real. It took a little longer to learn to breathe properly. (I know that sounds stupid since we have to breathe to live. But trust that you’re probably breathing shallow.) But now, after 10 years of yoga practice I am a much better breather than I used to be.

My yoga practice was the origin of my transition to being a more mindful person in all areas of my life. It started with yoga. Then I started using mindfulness to help improve my personal life. Now I use the concepts in business. It’s made me more courageous and more successful. Trust that I am a strong advocate for adding mindfulness to your life.

Start practicing mindfulness to improve your life. It’s simple. It’s free. It’ll make you happier. And it works. Check this article and this one to get started.

 

Filed Under: Mindfulness Tagged With: Happiness at Work, Mindfulness, Positivity, Wilma jones, Yoga

Planning for More Life and Career Happiness in 2017

December 27, 2016 by Wilma Jones

planning for success

Like many people I start thinking about whether there are any things in my life that I want to change as I approach a new calendar year. I no longer make official resolutions, but I have made lifestyle changes over the past 8 years that have made a big difference in my happiness and success. The way to actually accomplish these things to start planning. Implementing more principles of wellness and positivity into my life has helped me stay at a healthy weight, improved my diet, increased my physical activity and increased my courage.

I have stepped out and accomplished a lot of things that I never would have tried to do in the past. Taking classes. Hiring a life and business coach. Writing a blog. Self publishing books. Starting a speaking business. Pitching Arianna Huffington to write for HuffPost (more than once). Quitting my job of 10 years to step out and discover what else might be out there for me. And trusting that the Universe would guide me to where I am supposed to be.

I did all this stuff by making two simple changes. I scheduled the time on my calendar and made the investment of time, resources and work to make it happen. I learned to be mindful of my dreams and show kindness to myself by making a commitment to myself and keeping it.

Scheduling the time and following through is the first step. As the old saying goes, “80 percent of life is just showing up.” Yes, get yourself out there. You have to take the class, go to the event, launch the blog (and write regularly), or whatever the first benchmark is to your goal in order to get there one day.

Making the investment is a biggie. This stuff isn’t free and most of the time the good stuff isn’t cheap. And there are people out here who aren’t as good as they think they are about helping others get to the next nevel. So you have to watch out for the people who would take your money and teach you very little.

For the next week I’ll be nailing down my life plans for 2017. Writing down the goals I want to acheive from a career and personal pespective. Creating a vision board to help with visualizing where I am heading. Setting a schedule and adding the target dates to my iPhone calendar. Creating a budget for investing in myself and for hitting my savings goal.

A new year starts in less than a week. Do you have plans to start living happier in 2017 – in either your career and/or personal life?

Filed Under: Mindfulness Tagged With: Happiness, Mindfulness, planning, success, Wilma jones

Does Your Small Business Need to Implement Mindfulness?

October 13, 2016 by Wilma Jones

Small business mindfulness

If you’re a small business owner maybe you think mindfulness doesn’t have a place in your business. Maybe you think it’s only for big corporations like Google, Toyota Motors or General Mills who have the dollars to invest in their workers. I think you should think again. Science and experience prove that implementing mindfulness principles can make a big difference in your business.

So let me start with a few questions. Are all your employees engaged and focused about their job? How about you? Small business owners often feel burned out. As entrepreneurs you’re so busy checking off the tasks to get things done, your ability to think about solutions from a ‘big-picture’ perspective lessens.

Building a strong, healthy work culture and giving people the skills to work with their minds, emotions and other people is one of the big benefits gained by organizations that incorporate mindfulness in their workplaces. Mindfulness is a opportunity for you as a business owner to help increase everyone’s level of happiness and well-being at the job. And that what will help increase the business’ bottom line.

If you’re wondering how making people feel better about their jobs will help make you more money, just think for a moment about the demands of most jobs today. We expect people to multitask, because well, everyone has to multitask and do more than one thing at a time on the job. Emails will keep coming, along with calls with customers, marketing for more prospects, meetings, reports, accounts payable, accounts receiveable and taxes and on and on. A few simple mindfulness techniques can help people feel less stress at the job and they’ll learn to increase their focus and accuracy on the volume of work they have to do.

When people feel overwhelmed in the job they often feel the opposite of mindfulness, they feel mindlessness. When your job feels like you’re putting out fires all day, going from one work mini-crisis to the next – that’s mindlessness at the job. Learning mindfulness won’t change the activities we have to accomplish during the workday. But it will change how we let those tasks influence us. It is those changes that create the impact on the bottom line.

The ability to complete tasks in less time with greater accuracy means you and your staff are more productive. Feeling less stress at the job equates to fewer sick days, aka ‘mental health’ days when your staff can’t face another day at the office. Trust and believe, mindfulness measures up to increased revenue, improved employee retention and better work environments and even helps develop better business leaders!

Have you thought about how mindfulness can help boost your business?

Filed Under: Mindfulness Tagged With: Happiness at Work, Mindfulness, Productivity, small business, Wilma jones

4 Creative Ways to Improve Your Kindness On The Job

September 20, 2016 by Wilma Jones

Kindness on the job

I met a woman last week at a conference who told me she loved what she did everyday but hated her job because her boss was mean. She hopes he finds a new job soon because she doesn’t want to leave because once you remove him from the equation she said, “everything balances out.” Research proves the most important relationship, or “social connection,” we have on the job is with our immediate supervisor. And no one wants to report to a jerk. At least no one I know.

A lot of managers think they have to be tough with their teams to show they are real leaders. That’s such a bunch of BS and more importantly, it is not as effective as being a kind leader. Being a compassionate and empathetic boss helps with employee retention and productivity and the statistics prove it.

In fact senior level managers who are mean to the middle managers reporting to them can cause the front line employees to leave the company, even if they have no contact with the senior managers! This data comes from the team at Vanderbilt Owen Graduate School of Management, the School of Labor and Employment Relations at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and Cornell University School of Hotel Administration who did a study that was published in 2015.

Management who lead their teams with kindness gain significant advantages according to the American Management Association who found that 84 percent of people who said they work for a kind boss planned to stay at the company “for a long time.” Among those who declared their bosses to be not so kind, only 47 percent planned to stay for an extended period.

Kindness is not that hard and it helps to create a work environment that people won’t dread come Monday morning. Here are 3 easy ways to incorporate a little more kindness into your workday:

1. Greet people daily and use their name

Acknowledge your colleagues daily by greeting them and using their name. Having a personal interaction makes people feel seen and heard.

2. Be an encourager

Stating a positive attribute or accomplishment about a coworker to them or encouraging them in front of their manager or company leadership is a great way to be kind at work. Remember it has to be real and genuine, not sucking up or throwing backhand shade.

3. Don’t be the office critic

Focus on people’s strengths, not their weaknesses.

4. Offer to assist

This might take some of your time and effort, but it’s a great way to establish rapport with a colleague and to show you care about the team. I suggest being specific about what you’re willing to do. You don’t want to get stuck doing someone else’s project.

In my experience kindness at work really pays off. Have you found kindness to be a wise business strategy for building teams at work?

 

Filed Under: Kindness Tagged With: Appreciation, Happiness at Work, happy employees, Kindness, Wilma jones

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Wilma Jones
Wilma J, LLC
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Whether you’re a business owner or an employee a few things about working life are pretty consistent. Unless you’re one of the small percentage of  soloprenuers who work from home with no human interaction. For the remainder of us we all have to deal with coworkers. But first we have to manage our commute. In […]

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