Wilma Jones

Thoughts on Mindful Commuting in the 21st Century

April 13, 2017 by Wilma Jones

Whether you’re a business owner or an employee a few things about working life are pretty consistent. Unless you’re one of the small percentage of soloprenuers who work from home with no human interaction. For the remainder of us we all have to deal with coworkers. But first we have to manage our commute. In many areas of the country the getting to work isn’t a big deal. However, if you happen to live in a major US city, it can simply suck sometime.

In 2016 there were still over 75 percent of Americans who drove to work solo every day. I say interestingly because I truly thought the number had decreased some in the 21st century. The length of the commute to work has gotten 20 percent longer over the past 20 years with the average worker taking 26 minutes to get to work. But for many people in big cities with the worst traffic, like Washington, DC, New York or LA, a 26 minute commute would be sweet.

I have a dynamic job, so I may be in the office one day, working at a partner company site on a deal or presenting at a customer meeting in here in DC or anywhere in the 48 contiguous states. I travel on local buses, subway and in my car. I’m on a plane (preferably Southwest!) and then an Uber, Lyft or a taxi. In every mode of travel, I’ve seen my share of micro aggression, rudeness and clueless behavior.

This past Monday I was thinking about the fact that it seems to be happening more and more. In ways big and small. Aggressive driving ending in physical altercations. Or people getting assaulted on the subway or bus. All this came to mind because I was on the Metro in DC Monday morning on a crowded train that was SRO near a guy seated next to his backpack on the adjoining seat so no one could sit there. Whoever wanted the seat would have to ask him to move it. I knew I’d blog about it, so I took a pic.

You can see the lady in the white pants standing near me. She and I had a non-verbal black woman conversation for a minute or two. She looked at the backpack and then looked at me. Yup, she did it a couple of times to see if I was willing to say anything. I was riding 3 stops and figured I didn’t want to deal with any negative energy if I didn’t have to on a Monday morning. Sometimes you mess with people and crazy comes out. I wasn’t in the mood for that possibility. In my effort to be more mindful about how I approach every interaction of my day, I decided to let it pass.

And then later in the day I heard about the latest viral video. By now, I’m I sure you’ve seen the video of the Asian doctor trying to get back home on a United airlines flight who was dragged off the plane. This is your worst nightmare. Paid for your seat. Minding your business. Trying to get back home to go to work tomorrow. Instead you’re singled out and dragged off the plane because you were randomly picked in an overbooking situation gone that was straight crazy.

I’ve been involuntary bumped before when traveling and I know it’s a really irritating experience. You feel angry and helpless because you have no control. But I would have never thought an airline would call the cops on you because you didn’t want to take a bump. He was assaulted and ended up in the hospital. Then he’s unfairly ripped in the media about his past, as they do for all people of color who happen by no fault of their own to get into the headlines. He’s got a lawyer. I hope he sues and gets paid bigly.

It just reinforced the fact that commuting today can be hazardous to your health. Be mindful as you head to work today. Sometimes even if you’re right, it’s just not worth it.

Wanna Be Happy? Your Brain Wins Over Your Body. Except for Sex.

March 7, 2017 by Wilma Jones

While reading some info on a science website I ran across a study that confirms the importance of being mindful. You know about mindfulness, right? Thinking about what you’re doing in the present moment while you’re in that moment. Two Harvard researchers, Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert used an iPhone app to study people’s happiness based on what they were doing and what they were thinking at that particular time. The study results confirm that being mindless and thinking about something other than what you’re doing makes you unhappy.

The three take-aways from the study for me are that your mind drifts away from focusing on what you’re doing over 46 percent of the time. The second finding is that when your mind wanders it can cause you to be unhappy. The most important study result to me is the final one. What you think is a better predictor of your happiness than what you do.

Simple. I think it proves that your brain rules over your body. The study found this is true for all of the things we do except one. Sex. When you’re having sex you’re pretty much thinking about sex. But for everything else we do, we’re often thinking about something else when we’re doing it. And when you’re doing that, you’re being mindless, not mindful. And it’s affecting your happiness.

I know mindfulness works. I used to be one of those people who was always thinking about what other people thought about something I said or did. Literally it would affect my sleep that night. Or it made me distracted as I went through my day. Constantly going back to revisit the moment again and again. It’s one of the many variations of being mindless.

After starting a yoga practice I realized how much better I felt when I focused for an hour on my intention and my breathing. To me yoga has three parts. First are the movements. Next is breathing. (I am still perfecting this one.) The final one is mindfulness. You set an intention for your hour of practice and work to focus on that intention during the class.

The mindfulness part was hard for me at first. Thoughts of what happened earlier that day or what I had to do after class used to fill my head. Then I attended a class where the instructor’s advice was a perfect analogy for me. She told us that when a thought comes into our mind, “swoosh” it away as easily as it entered. Just acknowledge it and send it on it’s way. Then return to the present moment.

Eventually I got the hang of keeping my thoughts in the moment for most of the hour. And it felt good. No worries, for real. It took a little longer to learn to breathe properly. (I know that sounds stupid since we have to breathe to live. But trust that you’re probably breathing shallow.) But now, after 10 years of yoga practice I am a much better breather than I used to be.

My yoga practice was the origin of my transition to being a more mindful person in all areas of my life. It started with yoga. Then I started using mindfulness to help improve my personal life. Now I use the concepts in business. It’s made me more courageous and more successful. Trust that I am a strong advocate for adding mindfulness to your life.

Start practicing mindfulness to improve your life. It’s simple. It’s free. It’ll make you happier. And it works. Check this article and this one to get started.

Whether You Choose Mindful or Mindless, It’s Your Call

January 17, 2017 by Wilma Jones

When you’re facing a situation at the job, something that challenges you, most of the time we think of all the bad things that could happen. I know that was how I used to think. Yes, 100 percent of the time I imagined that the outcome would not be good for me. Now, that I know better, I only think about a bad outcome about 20 percent of the time. I am able to stop myself from going down the rabbit hole of “what if?” that can consume your thoughts.

I was dealing with this recently when I did a really good job on a project. Like better than anyone in the organization had done on a similar project. So needless to say, it got some attention and people wanted to know how I did it. I was feeling rather good and generous. I explained my strategies and shared my tools.

Then I was asked if others could join into the next project. What? Why? I was taken aback and then I remembered to stop and breathe and think for a sec. Of course, others are welcome. But the strategy and tools will remain mine. The results will be mine. I will share and mentor because I know what I am doing works. But I am not going to let thoughts of imagined outcomes impact where I am going in 2017.

Sometimes it’s hard for people, especially women and yes, even more so for women of color to be the best in an organization. I thought of the hit movie, Hidden Figures, which tells the stories of three brilliant black women who were critical performers in the NASA race with Russia to orbit a man around earth. Still today we have to keep performing by excelling at the job to prove that we can do things as well, or in some cases better than any man.

Using mindfulness to manage the thoughts I have when facing challenges on the job helps to keep my outlook positive. I don’t get caught up in mindless thoughts of bad outcomes or looking at what occured in the past. I focus on the here and now. I visualize my success in every situation. And I frame my thoughts to expected the success I imagine, or something even better. And since I shifted my perspective to an outlook of positivity, even the things I thought were bad, have turned out for my good.

Mindfulness or mindlessness, I am finding that how you approach challenges helps to determines what you get.

Planning for More Life and Career Happiness in 2017

December 27, 2016 by Wilma Jones

Like many people I start thinking about whether there are any things in my life that I want to change as I approach a new calendar year. I no longer make official resolutions, but I have made lifestyle changes over the past 8 years that have made a big difference in my happiness and success. The way to actually accomplish these things to start planning. Implementing more principles of wellness and positivity into my life has helped me stay at a healthy weight, improved my diet, increased my physical activity and increased my courage.

I have stepped out and accomplished a lot of things that I never would have tried to do in the past. Taking classes. Hiring a life and business coach. Writing a blog. Self publishing books. Starting a speaking business. Pitching Arianna Huffington to write for HuffPost (more than once). Quitting my job of 10 years to step out and discover what else might be out there for me. And trusting that the Universe would guide me to where I am supposed to be.

I did all this stuff by making two simple changes. I scheduled the time on my calendar and made the investment of time, resources and work to make it happen. I learned to be mindful of my dreams and show kindness to myself by making a commitment to myself and keeping it.

Scheduling the time and following through is the first step. As the old saying goes, “80 percent of life is just showing up.” Yes, get yourself out there. You have to take the class, go to the event, launch the blog (and write regularly), or whatever the first benchmark is to your goal in order to get there one day.

Making the investment is a biggie. This stuff isn’t free and most of the time the good stuff isn’t cheap. And there are people out here who aren’t as good as they think they are about helping others get to the next nevel. So you have to watch out for the people who would take your money and teach you very little.

For the next week I’ll be nailing down my life plans for 2017. Writing down the goals I want to acheive from a career and personal pespective. Creating a vision board to help with visualizing where I am heading. Setting a schedule and adding the target dates to my iPhone calendar. Creating a budget for investing in myself and for hitting my savings goal.

A new year starts in less than a week. Do you have plans to start living happier in 2017 – in either your career and/or personal life?

Stressed On the Job Post-Election? Try This Amazing Tip

December 14, 2016 by Wilma Jones

As a lifelong resident of the Washington, DC metropolitan area, I have a lot of friends and family who are federal employees or contractors. Or their business or the place they work sells or supports a business connected to the federal government market. The stress level for many people is greatly increasing because of fear or concern about the changes the president-elect plans to make to our government and thereby, our country. Those who work in trade and foreign policy have expressed to me that when the subject has been raised in a lunch conversation or two among their colleagues-friends they were not hopeful, happy discussions.

It’s in times like these that practicing mindfulness can be a big benefit to your day-to-day life. If you oppose the new president elect’s policies you can fight it through your individual protest on your free time, complain on social media or support organizations that are working against his goals. But when you’re at the day job, you’re there to do your job. All my professional friends and family members have been through changes in the executive branch before. We all know that how you feel about this new climate we are entering in our country has not a thing to do with the job you are expected to perform. But rather than let this next 4 years add more stress to your life, I’d like to suggest you consider mindfulness. It will reduce the stress that goes along with your concern and feelings of uncertainty about what might happen.

Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment. It’s learning to stop for short breaks during the workday to breathe deeply and train your mind to focus on now. Right now. Three minutes of deep breathing really can change your life.

A researcher from Harvard University, Herbert Benson authored a book in 1975 titled, “The Relaxation Response,” which used scientific research results to prove that short periods of meditiation focused on breathing can change the body’s response to stress. Basically they’ve proven that if you practicing mindful breathing exercises changes your body’s reaction to stress and you no longer releasing stress hormones throughout your body. Your blood pressure goes down, not up. That shallow breathing that we all experience when we’re getting all spun up is no longer.

In a follow up book published in 2010 titled “Relaxation Revolution,” Benson uses further research to prove that breathing can even change the activity of our body’s cells. This is a fascinating idea that confirms that by learning to use your breathe you can make your mind change your very cellular existence!

It’s science like this that makes me love mindfulness. This is why I believe that practicing mindfulness at work gives you your power back. People, processes and policies don’t get on your last nerve anymore. You can change your day and even begin the process of changing your life simply by taking a few mindful breathing breaks everyday.

If you have health problems, mindful breathing has a huge added health benefit. It has been proven to help reduce blood pressure. Yes, incorporating a deep breathing practice can help to improve your blood pressure. There are a host of other health benefits, too. Curious about how to start? Check out this video by one of the masters of mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Thoughts on Mindful Commuting in the 21st Century

Wanna Be Happy? Your Brain Wins Over Your Body. Except for Sex.

Whether You Choose Mindful or Mindless, It’s Your Call

Planning for More Life and Career Happiness in 2017

Stressed On the Job Post-Election? Try This Amazing Tip

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